I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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