I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
