Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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