he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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