sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
