he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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