Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
