Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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