And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
