Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
