I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
