Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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