they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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