She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
