dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
