You made me cry and you don't even care
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize