im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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