everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
