How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
