I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
