I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
