all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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