There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize