in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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