who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
birth control should be required to get into college
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
