I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
