Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize