I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
