i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
