But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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