talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I don't deserve a penis
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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