My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
