I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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