I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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