i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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