you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize