is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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