im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
