im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
