I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
porn star boner night. come get it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
