Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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