Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
