I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
