Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize