Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
