checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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