If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Damn victory sex feels great
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