I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
