At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
