Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
