That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hippo gnu deer
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
