I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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