Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
