She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
