idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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