marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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