I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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