We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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