You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
