Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
