just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
