No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
