I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
even my farts smell like vagina
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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