actually, I'm a sock model
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
