Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
