Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
