I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
