Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
