no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
