How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
