party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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