dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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