I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
