So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
